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Scriptures became consequently my earnest study and
daily prayer, and to them I appealed upon every
question which arose in my mind."
"Convictions of sin, of guilt, and misery, became
clear and pungent; and some confused idea of redemption through a Saviour, and the possibility of
pardon, and the restoration of my depraved nature,
engaged my thoughts and prayers, without intermission. For several months, I could do nothing
but read and meditate, plead at a throne of grace,
and weep over my wretched and lost estate."
"As new inquiries and difficulties arose, and new
truths, with their inseparable consequences, came
under consideration, I repaired to the Bible, I supplicated for light and instruction, and had to contend, study, and struggle for every article of faith
in succession."
"Two doctrines, above all others, engaged my
ardent attention, and caused a severe and long
conflict."
"The first was the divinity of the Lord Jesus
Christ. I saw, in his word, that he was a great
Saviour; that the Father was well pleased in his
Son, and that sinners, the chief of sinners, were
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accepted in the Beloved. I believed that he was
able to save, even to the uttermost, all who came
unto God by him. It was also evident, that in all
his fulness, he was freely offered in the Gospel, and
the vilest sinners were authorized and commanded
to believe in him, to accept him in all his glorious
offices, and become exclusively his property. But
if he were only a man, I did not dare to give myself
away wholly to him, as I should then, by a solemn
act, engage to belong to a mere creature, and thus,
by becoming united even to Jesus, I should not
yet come home to my God, from whom I had revolted. This checked my exercises for a time,
and brought me into great fears and perplexity;
until, from his word, I obtained a clearer discovery
of the perfections of God, and of the infinite evil of
sin. This convinced me that no finite arm could
vindicate the divine government, and rescue me
from the curse; that he alone who made me could
possess authority and power to redeem me; and
that my Saviour must not only be truly man, but
also truly God. I then satisfactorily perceived
and understood that it was the doctrine of the Bible;
I saw it was the uniform declaration of the sacred
scriptures, that the Son of God was one with the
Father; that he that hath seen the Son hath seen
the Father; and that, therefore, if I came to Jesus
I should come home to my God: my Maker would
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