Henry, News-Boy's Address (ca1803)
ALL hail to the season so jovial and gay , AO-L HH-EY-L T-UW DH-AH S-IY-Z-AH-N S-OW JH-OW-V-IY-AH-L AH-N-D G-EY More grateful to NEWS-BOYS than blossoms of May , M-AO-R G-R-EY-T-F-AH-L T-UW N-UW-Z-B-OY-Z DH-AE-N B-L-AA-S-AH-M-Z AH-V M-EY Than Summer's green gown , or Miss Autumn's brocade , DH-AE-N S-AH-M-ER-Z G-R-IY-N G-AW-N AO-R M-IH-S AO-T-AH-M-Z B-R-OW-K-EY-D Bespangled with gold , and with diamonds o'erlaid ; B-IY-S-P-AE-NG-G-AH-L-D W-IH-DH G-OW-L-D AH-N-D W-IH-DH D-AY-M-AH-N-D-Z AO-R-L-EY-D Give me surly Winter , bald-headed and bare , G-IH-V M-IY S-ER-L-IY W-IH-N-T-ER B-AO-L-D-HH-EH-D-AH-D AH-N-D B-EH-R Cold nights , frosty mornings , and keen piercing air , K-OW-L-D N-AY-T-S F-R-AO-S-T-IY M-AO-R-N-IH-NG-Z AH-N-D K-IY-N P-IH-R-S-IH-NG EH-R With storms roaring round him ; rain , hail , sleet and snow , W-IH-DH S-T-AO-R-M-Z R-AO-R-IH-NG R-AW-N-D HH-IH-M R-EY-N HH-EY-L S-L-IY-T AH-N-D S-N-OW While horse , from the mountains the howling winds blow ; W-AY-L HH-AO-R-S F-R-AH-M DH-AH M-AW-N-T-AH-N-Z DH-AH HH-AW-L-IH-NG W-IH-N-D-Z B-L-OW For Summer and Autumn and fair-bosom'd Spring , F-AO-R S-AH-M-ER AH-N-D AO-T-AH-M AH-N-D F-EH-R-B-UH-Z-AH-M-D S-P-R-IH-NG With their pinks and their peaches , no holidays bring ; W-IH-DH DH-EH-R P-IH-NG-K-S AH-N-D DH-EH-R P-IY-CH-AH-Z N-OW HH-AA-L-AH-D-EY-Z B-R-IH-NG But now comes blithe Christmas , while just in his rear , B-AH-T N-AW K-AH-M-Z B-L-AY-DH K-R-IH-S-M-AH-S W-AY-L JH-AH-S-T IH-N HH-IH-Z R-IH-R Advances our saint , jolly , laughing , NEW-YEAR , AH-D-V-AE-N-S-AH-Z AW-ER S-EY-N-T JH-AA-L-IY L-AE-F-IH-NG N-UW-Y-IH-R Which , time immemorial , to us has been made W-IH-CH T-AY-M IH-M-AH-M-AO-R-IY-AH-L T-UW AH-S HH-AE-Z B-IH-N M-EY-D The source of our wealth and support of our trade , DH-AH S-AO-R-S AH-V AW-ER W-EH-L-TH AH-N-D S-AH-P-AO-R-T AH-V AW-ER T-R-EY-D For then , cockahoop with the magical song , F-AO-R DH-EH-N K-AA-K-AH-HH-UW-P W-IH-DH DH-AH M-AE-JH-IH-K-AH-L S-AO-NG That charms from your purses the glittering l'argent , DH-AE-T CH-AA-R-M-Z F-R-AH-M Y-AO-R P-ER-S-IH-Z DH-AH G-L-IH-T-ER-IH-NG L-AA-R-JH-IH-N-T With our pulse beating quick , and our breast void of pain , W-IH-DH AW-ER P-AH-L-S B-IY-T-IH-NG K-W-IH-K AH-N-D AW-ER B-R-EH-S-T V-OY-D AH-V P-EY-N We quit types and shadows , the substance to gain . W-IY K-W-IH-T T-AY-P-S AH-N-D SH-AE-D-OW-Z DH-AH S-AH-B-S-T-AH-N-S T-UW G-EY-N But what , on this festive occasion , to say , B-AH-T W-AH-T AA-N DH-IH-S F-EH-S-T-IH-V AH-K-EY-ZH-AH-N T-UW S-EY Is a question which puzzles your poet , to day ; IH-Z AH K-W-EH-S-CH-AH-N W-IH-CH P-AH-Z-AH-L-Z Y-AO-R P-OW-AH-T T-UW D-EY Since the storms which have ravag'd old Europe are o'er , S-IH-N-S DH-AH S-T-AO-R-M-Z W-IH-CH HH-AE-V R-AE-V-IH-JH-D OW-L-D Y-UH-R-AH-P AA-R AO-R And the light'nings and thund'rings of war are no more ; AH-N-D DH-AH L-AY-T-AH-N-IH-NG-Z AH-N-D TH-AH-N-D-R-IH-NG-Z AH-V W-AO-R AA-R N-OW M-AO-R Even Oglou , who Turkey's grand Seignior defied , IY-V-IH-N OW-G-L-UW HH-UW T-ER-K-IY-Z G-R-AE-N-D S-IY-N-Y-ER D-IH-F-AY-D Has , at length , gain'd his point , and preferment beside ; HH-AE-Z AE-T L-EH-NG-K-TH G-EY-N-D HH-IH-Z P-OY-N-T AH-N-D P-R-AH-F-ER-M-AH-N-T B-IH-S-AY-D Toussaint , the black chief , too , is trick'd by Le Clerc , T-UW-S-AE-N DH-AH B-L-AE-K CH-IY-F T-UW IH-Z T-R-IH-K-T B-AY L-AH K-L-ER-K And in chains sent to limbo by king Bonaparte , AH-N-D IH-N CH-EY-N-Z S-EH-N-T T-UW L-IH-M-B-OW B-AY K-IH-NG B-OW-N-AH-P-AA-R-T While General Le Death , to revenge such foul play , W-AY-L JH-EH-N-ER-AH-L L-AH D-EH-TH T-UW R-IY-V-EH-N-JH S-AH-CH F-AW-L P-L-EY Tricks Le Clerc and his minions in much the same way , T-R-IH-K-S L-AH K-L-ER-K AH-N-D HH-IH-Z M-IH-N-Y-AH-N-Z IH-N M-AH-CH DH-AH S-EY-M W-EY And Negroes , by plunder and carnage and flame , AH-N-D N-IY-G-R-OW-Z B-AY P-L-AH-N-D-ER AH-N-D K-AA-R-N-IH-JH AH-N-D F-L-EY-M Shew Frenchmen how well they their rights can maintain . SH-UW F-R-EH-N-CH-M-EH-N HH-AW W-EH-L DH-EY DH-EH-R R-AY-T-S K-AE-N M-EY-N-T-EY-N Well -- since from abroad no great tidings are brought , W-EH-L S-IH-N-S F-R-AH-M AH-B-R-AO-D N-OW G-R-EY-T T-AY-D-IH-NG-Z AA-R B-R-AO-T Let us see what at home there is , worthy of note ; L-EH-T AH-S S-IY W-AH-T AE-T HH-OW-M DH-EH-R IH-Z W-ER-DH-IY AH-V N-OW-T Why here we find little to trouble hour heads , W-AY HH-IY-R W-IY F-AY-N-D L-IH-T-AH-L T-UW T-R-AH-B-AH-L AW-ER HH-EH-D-Z Except paper-battles 'twixt Demos and Feds ; IH-K-S-EH-P-T P-EY-P-ER-B-AE-T-AH-L-Z T-W-IH-K-S-T D-EH-M-OW-Z AH-N-D F-EH-D-Z Abusing and squabbling and wrangling and spite , AH-B-Y-UW-Z-IH-NG AH-N-D S-K-W-AA-B-AH-L-IH-NG AH-N-D R-AE-NG-G-AH-L-IH-NG AH-N-D S-P-AY-T Though I , for my life , see not what they get by't , DH-OW AY F-AO-R M-AY L-AY-F S-IY N-AA-T W-AH-T DH-EY G-EH-T B-EH-T Unless 'tis the pleasure their venom to spit AH-N-L-EH-S T-IH-Z DH-AH P-L-EH-ZH-ER DH-EH-R V-EH-N-AH-M T-UW S-P-IH-T And make folks believe they've abundance of wit ; AH-N-D M-EY-K F-OW-K-S B-IH-L-IY-V DH-EY-V AH-B-AH-N-D-AH-N-S AH-V W-IH-T But in this they mistake , for abuse , 'tis well known , B-AH-T IH-N DH-IH-S DH-EY M-IH-S-T-EY-K F-AO-R AH-B-Y-UW-S T-IH-Z W-EH-L N-OW-N Is the wit and the wisdom of blackguards , alone . IH-Z DH-AH W-IH-T AH-N-D DH-AH W-IH-Z-D-AH-M AH-V B-L-EY-G-ER-R-D-Z AH-L-OW-N But to come to the point which I've long had in view , B-AH-T T-UW K-AH-M T-UW DH-AH P-OY-N-T W-IH-CH AY-V L-AO-NG HH-AE-D IH-N V-Y-UW My patrons attend , I've a few words for you ; M-AY P-EY-T-R-AH-N-Z AH-T-EH-N-D AY-V AH F-Y-UW W-ER-D-Z F-AO-R Y-UW You'll please to remember how , many months past , Y-UW-L P-L-IY-Z T-UW R-IH-M-EH-M-B-ER HH-AW M-EH-N-IY M-AH-N-TH-S P-AE-S-T While tempest roar'd loud and while shrill scream'd the blast , W-AY-L T-EH-M-P-AH-S-T R-AO-R-D L-AW-D AH-N-D W-AY-L SH-R-IH-L S-K-R-IY-M-D DH-AH B-L-AE-S-T When heat sing'd the earth and when cold froze the air , W-EH-N HH-IY-T S-IH-N-JH-D DH-AH ER-TH AH-N-D W-EH-N K-OW-L-D F-R-OW-Z DH-AH EH-R And sometimes when suns shone serenly and fair , AH-N-D S-AH-M-T-AY-M-Z W-EH-N S-AH-N-Z SH-OW-N S-ER-IY-N-AH-L-IY AH-N-D F-EH-R With the news gather'd up from the wide world all o'er , W-IH-DH DH-AH N-UW-Z G-AE-DH-ER-D AH-P F-R-AH-M DH-AH W-AY-D W-ER-L-D AO-L AO-R True as time , ev'ry week , I arriv'd at your door ; T-R-UW AE-Z T-AY-M EH-V-R-IY W-IY-K AY ER-AY-V-D AE-T Y-AO-R D-AO-R And now , as old custom ordains , I appear , AH-N-D N-AW AE-Z OW-L-D K-AH-S-T-AH-M AO-R-D-EY-N-Z AY AH-P-IH-R To present you , my Patrons , a HAPPY NEW-YEAR , T-UW P-R-EH-Z-AH-N-T Y-UW M-AY P-EY-T-R-AH-N-Z AH HH-AE-P-IY N-UW-Y-IH-R The year which we name EIGHTEEN HUNDRED and THREE , DH-AH Y-IH-R W-IH-CH W-IY N-EY-M EY-T-IY-N HH-AH-N-D-R-AH-D AH-N-D TH-R-IY Which brings you a song and your Carrier a Fee , W-IH-CH B-R-IH-NG-Z Y-UW AH S-AO-NG AH-N-D Y-AO-R K-AE-R-IY-ER AH F-IY At least I predict so ( with deff'rence to you ) AE-T L-IY-S-T AY P-R-IH-D-IH-K-T S-OW W-IH-DH D-EH-F-R-AH-N-S T-UW Y-UW As we all can predict what we wish to be true . AE-Z W-IY AO-L K-AE-N P-R-IH-D-IH-K-T W-AH-T W-IY W-IH-SH T-UW B-IY T-R-UW How cheerfully then will I stick to the press HH-AW CH-IH-R-F-AH-L-IY DH-EH-N W-IH-L AY S-T-IH-K T-UW DH-AH P-R-EH-S For a twelvemonth to come -- be the same more or less , F-AO-R AH T-W-EH-L-V-M-AH-N-TH T-UW K-AH-M B-IY DH-AH S-EY-M M-AO-R AO-R L-EH-S To tell you what wonders the Fates bring along , T-UW T-EH-L Y-UW W-AH-T W-AH-N-D-ER-Z DH-AH F-EY-T-S B-R-IH-NG AH-L-AO-NG And how they behave , distant nations among ; AH-N-D HH-AW DH-EY B-IH-HH-EY-V D-IH-S-T-AH-N-T N-EY-SH-AH-N-Z AH-M-AH-NG To tell you if War his bold clarion shall sound , T-UW T-EH-L Y-UW IH-F W-AO-R HH-IH-Z B-OW-L-D K-L-EH-R-IY-AH-N SH-AE-L S-AW-N-D Or Betsy's shrill voice Billy's bosom shall wound ; AO-R B-EH-T-S-IY-Z SH-R-IH-L V-OY-S B-IH-L-IY-Z B-UH-Z-AH-M SH-AE-L W-AW-N-D If fevers shall rage and their thousands destroy , IH-F F-IY-V-ER-Z SH-AE-L R-EY-JH AH-N-D DH-EH-R TH-AW-Z-AH-N-D-Z D-IH-S-T-R-OY Or your poultry be kidnap'd by some thievish boy ; AO-R Y-AO-R P-OW-L-T-R-IY B-IY K-IH-D-N-AE-P-T B-AY S-AH-M TH-IY-V-IH-SH B-OY If hurricanes level both city and town , IH-F HH-ER-AH-K-EY-N-Z L-EH-V-AH-L B-OW-TH S-IH-T-IY AH-N-D T-AW-N Or Bragman , the bully , knock Limberlegs down ; AO-R B-R-AE-G-M-AE-N DH-AH B-UH-L-IY N-AA-K L-IH-M-B-ER-L-EH-G-Z D-AW-N Or Johnny be pierc'd by Miss Jenny's bright eye ; AO-R JH-AA-N-IY B-IY P-IH-R-S-T B-AY M-IH-S JH-EH-N-IY-Z B-R-AY-T AY Or if congress shall make , or our state legislature , AO-R IH-F K-AA-NG-G-R-AH-S SH-AE-L M-EY-K AO-R AW-ER S-T-EY-T L-EH-JH-AH-S-L-EY-CH-ER Remarkable movements - by land or by water , R-IH-M-AA-R-K-AH-B-AH-L M-UW-V-M-AH-N-T-S B-AY L-AE-N-D AO-R B-AY W-AO-T-ER And many more strange things we'll tell you to boot , AH-N-D M-EH-N-IY M-AO-R S-T-R-EY-N-JH TH-IH-NG-Z W-IY-L T-EH-L Y-UW T-UW B-UW-T As the seasons roll on and occasion shall suit . AE-Z DH-AH S-IY-Z-AH-N-Z R-OW-L AA-N AH-N-D AH-K-EY-ZH-AH-N SH-AE-L S-UW-T But 'tis time that I bid you good bye , till next year , B-AH-T T-IH-Z T-AY-M DH-AE-T AY B-IH-D Y-UW G-UH-D B-AY T-IH-L N-EH-K-S-T Y-IH-R By wishing you happiness , peace and good cheer ; B-AY W-IH-SH-IH-NG Y-UW HH-AE-P-IY-N-AH-S P-IY-S AH-N-D G-UH-D CH-IH-R To the ladies , the charms both of form and of face , T-UW DH-AH L-EY-D-IY-Z DH-AH CH-AA-R-M-Z B-OW-TH AH-V F-AO-R-M AH-N-D AH-V F-EY-S Expression , attraction , and each nameless grace , IH-K-S-P-R-EH-SH-AH-N AH-T-R-AE-K-SH-AH-N AH-N-D IY-CH N-EY-M-L-AH-S G-R-EY-S Their tempers benign , ting'd with sentiment's fire , DH-EH-R T-EH-M-P-ER-Z B-IH-N-AY-N T-IH-NG-D W-IH-DH S-EH-N-T-AH-M-AH-N-T-S F-AY-ER Galants whom they love and the swains they admire ; G-AE-L-AH-N-T-S HH-UW-M DH-EY L-AH-V AH-N-D DH-AH S-W-EY-N-Z DH-EY AE-D-M-AY-R To the clergy meek charity , unmix'd with pride , T-UW DH-AH K-L-ER-JH-IY M-IY-K CH-EH-R-IH-T-IY AH-N-M-IH-K-S-T W-IH-DH P-R-AY-D And something to wake us on Sunday , beside ; AH-N-D S-AH-M-TH-IH-NG T-UW W-EY-K AH-S AA-N S-AH-N-D-EY B-IH-S-AY-D To the farmer fine crops ; to the merchant much trade ; T-UW DH-AH F-AA-R-M-ER F-AY-N K-R-AA-P-S T-UW DH-AH M-ER-CH-AH-N-T M-AH-CH T-R-EY-D To the sexton small use for the mattock and spade ; T-UW DH-AH S-EH-K-S-T-AH-N S-M-AO-L Y-UW-S F-AO-R DH-AH M-AE-T-AA-K AH-N-D S-P-EY-D To physicians few patients ; to lawyers light fees ; T-UW F-AH-Z-IH-SH-AH-N-Z F-Y-UW P-EY-SH-AH-N-T-S T-UW L-AO-Y-ER-Z L-AY-T F-IY-Z But to printers , the shiners , as oft as you please ; B-AH-T T-UW P-R-IH-N-T-ER-Z DH-AH SH-AY-N-ER-Z AE-Z AO-F-T AE-Z Y-UW P-L-IY-Z In short , to conclude my nonsensical song IH-N SH-AO-R-T T-UW K-AH-N-K-L-UW-D M-AY N-AA-N-S-EH-N-S-IH-K-AH-L S-AO-NG To all , what they wish , if they wish nothing wrong . T-UW AO-L W-AH-T DH-EY W-IH-SH IH-F DH-EY W-IH-SH N-AH-TH-IH-NG R-AO-NG